Grands Exercices Journaliers de Mecanisme par Monsieur Taffanel et Monsieur Gaubert.

"L'etude reguliere et attentive de ces exercices est indispensable a tout flutiste. Toutes les difficultes de l'instrument y sont contenues."

This is what it says in the "Notes on Practising/Note pour le Travail" at the start of Paul Taffanel and Phillipe Gaubert's "Grands Exercices Journaliers de Mecanisme".

What it translates to is something like: "Regular and thoughtful study of these exercises is indispensible to all flutists. They contain all the difficulties of the instrument."

What it should translate to is something more like this:
"Regular and thoughtful study of these exercises will cause intense pain in all parts of the upper body of the flutist, as well as a strange sudden desire to stab oneself in the aeorta with one's own flute. They contain all the difficulties of the instrument, and because we are spiteful French bastards, we take great pleasure in writing them out, so you can study them in your tertiary years and suffer immense physical and mental pain, to the point that you are willing to cut off your own fingers. Schadenfreude is what we do, even though that's a German word. Also, LE HOH HOH HOH HOH."

Other interesting facts: Paul Taffanel had a rectangular face and elf ears, while Philippe Gaubert was a neckless wonder whose choice in bowties was highly questionable.



Also, I heard from a reliable source that they used to eat children, and kick old women in the face for fun.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

Happy practising.
xx